The Ugly Truth: Shadow Work

Majority of us have a hard time facing it, we feel that it is embarrassing to come face to face with the side of us we absolutely do not care for, so we ignore it and leave it alone to be forgotten, but is it being forgotten? Or are you suppressing the fact that you were wounded and hurt, and it has made a significantly hurtful impact on your adulthood? And that’s more than ok, its more than ok that you grew up and carried along the invisible bag of unhealed emotions, its ok because its human and we tend to feel everything, and we also tend to share our struggles with others so that it can help them see that they are not alone, so it can help you see that YOU are not alone.

When it comes to shadow work we tend to take the comfortable route and suppress the hurt, unaware that the more it is ignored, the bigger and louder it will get! So big it can and will block your view of your potential reality, the reality you have set up for yourself, the one that you can and will have if you approach your shadow self with conviction and power. Letting it know that you own it and not the other way around. You have complete and total control over every emotion that flows in and out of your body.

As children we learned to adapt to the world around us, what is wrong and what is right is taught to us by our parents, teachers, family, strangers…etc. We are given direction in our life based on the opinion of someone else telling us what THEY believe is the right thing to do and if it isn’t ideal for them then it is wrong, therefore slowly adapting your brain to thinking what THEY believe. But doesn’t that sound silly? How do we become ourselves and not judge other humans when we were basically taught this way, whether our guardians knew what they were teaching us or not, or that it would affect us in the long run or not, we are learning and absorbing beings especially as a child, seeing as how children soak up all the information thrown at them like a sponge?

But where does this leave us as adults? When we were children, if we joked around in class or were rambunctious in the grocery store we were told, “No, stop it, that isn’t how you act or behave!” and we know children take everything literally. And now you have a child who is shamed for being who they are, a happy, energetic, full of life little human. We are silenced and when we become silenced, we begin to suppress, beat ourselves up, self-blame and behave and act in ways that are the opposite of how we naturally want to behave, we grow up, conform, and overtime lose our inner child…and in turn, we lose ourselves.

However, not all hope is lost and healing and loving on your inner child can still happen, it is never too late to face your darkness, NEVER. Most of us ignore the fact that we have a dark side and that then leads to not being able to connect to source like we need and want to, not being able to quiet our minds during meditation and not being able to fulfil and manifest the reality that we so often dream of having. You simply can not do this if you do not first build the foundation on the inside. That is what the universe feels, the energy and emotions that come from within you. Emotions are vibrationally attached by FACT to the universe and if you are subconsciously repressing those negative emotions the universe will feel that and in turn boomerang situations to you that you thought you were avoiding. It’s time to throw the ego away and have a session with your feelings and with your inner child, you need it more than you think, your life needs it more than you think.

I have experienced going through shadow healing and I have dug deep and worked every possible corner to try and heal the wounds that still remain. I am not 100% but I believe I am very close and I hope to be the beacon of hope for all who read and are ready for the work!

I'm not crazy, I lack fear of expression

After all the out pouring of opinions surrounding the recent Kanye and Childish Gambino discussion, I was forced to sit and think about how I personally felt about freedom of expression and lacking the fear to do so. We all have and are entitled to our own opinions. As individuals we need this, it gives us a view on how others think and can even teach us a plethora of things we didn’t know. Learning from people is how we grow. It’s how we grow to love the diversity that we walk amongst daily.

So, it baffles me, that in a world and community that encourages us to be ourselves, put ourselves first, speak our minds and all these other liberating sayings, immediately silences us and bashes us when we finally say, “fuck it” and use our voice. How contradictory of us to silence millions of voices when we just encouraged them to stand out and be different in the same breath.

We ALL have something to say and many of us would NEVER do what these other bold souls are doing, and why is that? The answer isn’t hard…it’s fear; we are afraid of what people will think, our friends, our families…our followers. God forbid we use social media as a platform to voice our opinions, the moment this is done we are internet jumped by the people with a difference in opinion. Wouldn’t this make anyone who WANTS to speak, afraid to speak? Now some of you may be thinking “I voice my opinion, I don’t care what anyone thinks” that’s ok, and beautiful, if you are real about it but many people will not admit they agree with Kanye, or any other person who uses free speech, they rather ride the wave of calling a person who is tired of shutting up and is in need of expressing themselves, “crazy” for doing what we always encourage our people to do. Individuals who speak up, regardless of opinions, backlash, hurtful words, belittling, being called insane, are NOT crazy, they lack fear of expression.

When will you do the same?

Social Media is Killing Our Sanity

We scroll, and scroll and scroll, searching for nothing, but finding everything. Knowing every single detail of most of the lives of the strangers we follow. Constantly comparing and staring. Admiring aesthetics. Wishing we were a that place, hanging out with those people, or something as dramatic as completely having their life. Did we lose a sense of who we are due to constant distractions from social media?

For example, we follow celebrities, travel blogs, artists who do similar things we do, but are perhaps a little further in it than we are, and we see their pictures, their videos, how happy they are, how seemingly easy they make it “seem”. And subconsciously, deep down, we begin to wish it were us, that we were there, living just as they are, seemingly having no worries. (riiiight, as if we aren’t WHOLE ASS HUMAN BEINGS)

Oh, how completely natural it is to compare, and do this without knowing most times, forgetting the fact that we are individuals, with individual lives, and paths, and purposes. When did we begin to forget who we were, when did our power and purpose become foggy? Not literally, of course, but we intercept ourselves into the lives of others for longer than we’d probably like.

Are we addicted?

Does the ups and downs of others feed our need to be ok with the hassles in our own lives?

Are we hiding?

Perhaps even escaping?

Because of the constant pressure we knowingly or unknowingly receive from Facebook, Instagram, twitter, Snapchat, etc., breaks are a NEED and very much required when it comes to our little alternate world of social media. Do whatever you must do in order to preserve your sanity. You are more important than the pictures and videos you see, much more valuable than the harsh words you read. Your life is more important. And the lives we think we see and unwillingly compare ours to, are merely pictures and videos and filters. You never know what happens on the other side of the screen. Remember, in times such as the ones we thrive in, save your sanity. Save yourself.

Black People Don't Go To Therapy: The Stigmas

And even if we did, was it mandated? Was it required by the law? How many of us are open and willing to pick up the phone and make an appointment? Not many at all. We disregard and fight the fact that there is a chemical imbalance that is slowly playing tug of war with our natural selves (this is of course if there is actually something going on). Becoming individuals that we are NOT. Giving way to saying and doing things that we normally wouldn’t in our “right” mind

We ignore the signs in ourselves (if they are there) and in our family members out of pure fear. Fear of what people will think, fear people will call us crazy, fear of losing friends and family, the “fear” list goes on and on. And it is the MOST NOT OK disease to ignore. It effects our community daily and leads us into places we avoid or try to anyway.

It’s a silent trap that no one cares to discuss. An ugly stigma has become the umbrella for all things mental illness and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out exactly what these stigmas are, for they exist loudly amongst the black community.

-Many simply do not have access to mental health information and resources. We are deemed to believe that our people are just crazy or high off a drug of some sort (that MAY be the case for some). Completely ignoring the immense amount of coping techniques. This is the main piece that is missing. A simple lack of knowledge and understanding.

-Another factor is their belief. You just simply “don’t need to go to no doctor, you need to talk to Jesus” …yes, I did it. And I will boldly say this is NOT your only saving grace if that is what you choose to believe in. You cannot solely pray and do nothing else and expect to be 100% healed or that your loved one will be 100% healed. There is more work to do, more people to involve and more acceptance of the illness at hand. Trust me, Jesus, Buddha, Allah, and everyone else WILL NOT be upset if you decide to seek help outside of them. Take care of you. 

-There is also an issue with access to physicians, psychologists and therapists. Health care coverage and access doesn’t make this search for help an easy one. Within our own communities we lack many therapists that look like us, and the ones we do have, are not ideal, and probably not the best pick for handling the issues and troubles of people of color. Simply put: we lack therapists of color and we need more.

-Another thing is the amount of judgement received when recognizing an illness or seeking out help to assist with ridding of it, we fear others will judge, maybe even dismiss themselves from our lives or whatever they can and will do to show lack of support and concern. Within our own community, we absolutely must change this. We must know that our struggle as non-whites has not been easy, it has not been equal, and we are hurting. We are silently, behind closed doors, screaming for help. Hoping, by some miracle, some sweet soul with bionic ears will hear our cries. 

We must make this a comfortable space for our people to feel they can be themselves, even if it comes along with some imbalance they’ve been given in this lifetime. If we do everything with love, we have done well. The stigma ends here. The stigma ends now!

An OPEN LETTER TO THE FEARFUL:

Where did you learn to become fearful? What is it inside of you that makes you afraid of unknown outcomes and circumstances? When we reside in fear we abandon our freedom and we take away the opportunity to have ANY LIFE we desire. We give fear permission to stop us and allow us to second guess ourselves, thus leading to hundreds of doors closing in our face. Aren’t you tired? Do you love yourself? Like really love yourself? Because fear and love can not exist in the same room, they just simply cannot, just how darkness can not exist in a room full of light…even if it is the smallest amount of light, it will be seen. We lose out on meetings, potential connections and a great deal of blessings when we holster fear by our sides. We encourage it to stay when we feed it and by doing this we put up blockages that could lead us in the exact direction we wish to be lead.

What is stopping you? Who told you to be afraid? Who told you YOU couldn’t do that thing, or accomplish that task? Why do you think they told you that? Everyone has an opinion but that does not have to lead you to believe less in yourself. Why allow the unsupportive friend or the stranger who doesn’t know you from a can of paint tell YOU who YOU are and what YOUR abilities are. Doesn’t that sound silly? To allow someone to embed so much in your head that you can’t do something and now you are taking their advice and sitting on your ass missing chance after chance and opportunity after opportunity. Why are you allowing them to pull you further away from the finish line when you almost broke the rope before they began whispering NOTHINGS in your ear? Do not allow fear to stop your potential and haunt your dreams. You will not exist in the light if you continue to accompany fear in the dark. This is the time when you stand up in the face of fear and tell it to KISS YOUR COURAGOUS ASS! There is nothing to be afraid of…

With love, Quinn <3

You gon' learn Today!|

What we are doing wrong when manifesting|

We've been doing it all wrong...*Face palm* thinking and planning and thinking and thinking and thinking...constantly attempting to create the life we desire, the life we dream of and makes us feel goooood. Pushing to become the better version of ourselves that we have always dreamt of being. Obsessed with the vision. Always telling the universe what we want, carrying the idea in our head, not making any movement. Stagnant. And we expect results, we expect the universe to hear us out because we have begged and pleaded for this thing and still after years we don't have it.... We can't reach it....we barely see it.

Why is this....isn't this how it's supposed to work? Manifesting and affirming all the things we want to occur in our reality?! 

We are all aware by now of karma, good and bad, the law of attraction, and that like attracts like. These are basic laws of the universe. Just like 1 + 1 = 2. This is a fact. And Some of us have been living our lives by this. Taking the steps we need in order to successfully manifest our desires. Meditating, writing, performing rituals...etc. 

Always asking for what we WANT.... and this, lovlies, is where we fall short when it comes to making magic! Creating that ideal life for ourselves is merely a thought away but it requires a few other steps! Believing and Movement!

When you are constantly writing what you want and thinking what you want you are only attracting the idea of wanting that thing. You will continue to just simply WANT it when what you should be doing is affirming that you already HAVE it. That It's already yours, it has your name on it but it is impossible to get it unless you FIRST believe it is possible to achieve and SECOND make the movement to achieve it!

Some of you may be thinking "I'm already doing this, you aren't telling me anything new" blah blah blah
Ok, and while you may feel that this is true, if you don't see anything beginning to move for you or any actual signs that what you want is on its way...them maybe...just maybe you aren't doing it as well as you thought!

We tend to lose our belief in a better life when things begin to crumble, when life doesn't go our way and when life just seems to be jumping you daily with constant worries and anxieties of daily living. We tend to forget how much power we possess and how important our thoughts are especially in moments of negative overwhelming feelings and these are the moments that make us relapse. Make us forget that power and turn towards self pity, doubting and feeling like nothing ever goes our way.

It's in these moments where we have to muster up the strength to overtake our thoughts and know that even in the eye of the problem we are still creating our lives and do we really want to create more of what is on our minds in these dark moments? Do we really want to be the doubtful person we become in those mere seconds of feeling defeated? Its better to say and read all of this than to actually do it but your future is where you should find your strength. Knowing that everything is going to work out HOW IT SUPPOSED TO should reassure you that you are ok. You are always ok. Life is beautiful regardless and you are alive and breathing and everything else will flow.

When doubt comes and you begin to feel as if you are losing faith just remember that in those moments it is YOU that holds the key to your future, it's you who creates it and you who has total and complete control over how it will unfold.

Love every thought you have. But as some of us have learned the hard way, some things that we love we must let go of. Let go of losing yourself in hard times. Change your thinking. Change the way you are describing your life and that alone will reshape your path and be the beginning of all that it is you want to hold in your possession...give your creation love every time it crosses your mind, feel the beautiful emotions it gives you when you think about it and most importantly appreciate the process as you go through it. Give thanks always. 

With Love, Quinn <3

Don't cry over spilled milk when you spilled it|

Nature couldn't save me...I thought it could but it didn't. I escaped my everyday life in hopes that being grounded with the Earth would magically pull the toxicity out of me, the negative energy out of me and the ugly shadows that dwelled in me....out of me.
I was wrong...nature couldn't save me. Not by itself. Only I could save me FULLY and completely.

I was low. Depression had kicked my ass and anxiety had become a regular part of my morning routine. It was obvious how unhappy I was...I was surrounded by people I assumed could save me through their vibrant energy and divine connection.

Again...wrong.

I jumped from job to job in hopes that I would find my happiness and peace through a couple of hours in a different environment, around different people.

Wrong again.

My home life was miserable to say the least...finances were off and the entire vibe and energy that covered the walls also attached itself to me. I was a magnet. A vacuum for toxic people and situations to be drawn to. It was me. I was giving darkness permission to seep into my aura and I was causing my own pain...my own hurt...my own tears. IT WAS MY FAULT, I was allowing it and for many situations that you find yourself in....they are your fault.... You allowed it.

Don't shoot the messenger. Don't roll your eyes. Keep reading because I'm going to tell you the truth on why this is and how you can kill that piece of you.

In February I dropped everything and left home to travel the states and live within nature...out of society eye. I threw out everything and got down to one suitcase case. My entire life....in one suitcase. It was the biggest and bravest choice I had to make. I figured being away from everyone that I felt didn't serve my soul well was a cure all.

I felt that escaping the everyday life of a numbing routine would heal me. I was sure of it. So sure of it I quit it all, saved NO money and left. Attempted to escape. Escape what I thought was causing the pain and the rollercoaster emotions. I wanted out and getting grounded was my only way to do it...or so I thought.

During the 3 months that I traveled I was STILL MISERABLE! I was living "the life" and I was still carrying these heavy....ugly emotions with me from place to place and I was disgusted and angry.
Angry that my ploy to escape my day-to-day life and live in nature with only my thoughts would save and heal me and it didn't!

I questioned WHY often... Why didn't it work? Why didn't my long silent walks and talks with the universe work?

I'm sure you are also wondering why? Because it should right? Nature should help? Shouldn't it? Escaping everything that was causing you pain should ease the pressure...should heal you? Right?

Nope! Because I COULDN'T ESCAPE ME....I COULDNT HIDE FROM ME. YOU.CANT.HIDE.FROM.YOU!

If there are issues and shadow sides of you that have not been addressed or healed or recognized, it will follow you everywhere you go until it has been pulled to the forefront, seen and healed. It will happen through others pointing out your STANK ways or by a situation occurring where you can SEE where you have been wrong and caused unnecessary disappointment. Until you LET GO OF YOUR EGO and see that majority of the milk spilled can be wiped up by you because YOU spilled it , then your pain will always follow.

Recognize your shadow, speak to it, write to it....heal it and love it. We all need balance but we all need to also recognized that we have those shadow moments, that we are wrong sometimes, that sometimes WE caused the situation...the yin and yang...that's balance baby.

So no...nature itself couldn't save me FULLY and SOLEY. It gave me many moments of clarity, of realization, of solitude.....moments I was forced to be alone with my thoughts. I escaped life because I thought only nature could save me. That I didn't have to do the WORK. That once I left I would without a doubt... immediately be at peace and happy.

& here is where I saw that it was me. I saved myself by seeing myself....with nature's guidance and love surrounding me through out the journey. 

Slow down LOVE…YOU first.

| How bad do you want LOVE? That “wake up to breakfast and kisses” LOVE. And how successful do you want it to be? That even when it seems that all hell has broken lose you find each other in the dust and ash. And are you able to attract healthy relationships that embody healthy boundaries that will lead to a long lasting solid friendship and union? |

In most cases when we meet a beautiful soul we immediately feel some sort of connection and the sparks begin to fly! Some of us may feel it immediately (lesbians hehehe) and others…not for months…and years. But it is in those moments where we feel that sigh of relief and our hearts whisper “Finally…”. We tend to take these connections and run with them. We subconsciously seek pieces of these people and we fall in love with it…the piece, and we forget the whole. We forget the foundation, the solidity, the deeper bond and connection and we fall in love with the surface…the pieces. We fall in love with the flowers that arrive at our front door with a cute note that reads “for the prettiest girl in the world”. We fall in love with the weekly dates, the random phone calls, the gifts, the possibilities, the vacations and talks of the future. We fall for what we THINK we need, what we think to be “relationship goals” of cute pictures on social media. But where is the real connection. Where do you get that real bond? That unbreakable friendship turned lover foundation? Where do you establish that initially?

| We miss something. We have always missed something. And whether you have learned what this something is or not, at some point on your relationship journey…you missed it |

| We forgot to LOVE ourselves FIRST and this is what caused that lack of success. Yes, We fell in love and it was beautiful and it happened quickly and it was unexpected and we were head over hills and nothing else mattered but this person and we thought it was right. It was sunshine and rainbows….until it wasn’t |

Why wasn’t it? Why did we feel all of these emotions and feelings and then we didn’t. Where did it go wrong? Was it me? Something I did? or said? These are the questions we ask. The questions that burn in us daily after the failure of a relationship.

Without verbally saying it or even thinking it we sought pieces of people that we haven’t even given ourselves. We look for a way to feel voids others have left empty. We seek some sort of companionship. Some sort of LOVE that we think only others can give to us. A sort of Love we are only able to feel from a significant other.

| THIS IS WHERE WE GOT IT WRONG | 

Every single piece, every void, that we THINK only someone else can fill…we can do ourselves. We can LOVE ourselves unconditionally without hurt and fear tagging along. We owe ourselves that love we give out so freely to others, especially the ones unworthy of such power. We owe ourselves healing, happiness, and comfort.

It is not until we FULLY ENGULF OURSELVES IN LOVE that we will attract a partner who loves us just as much.

| What we seek is a mirror…a reflection |

Someone who knows us better than we know ourselves, who treats you the way you would treat yourself, a partner that you can look at in ANY situation and say “would I do that or say that to myself” and if without hesitation you say “YES!” and if you have encountered this you have found yourself in someone. And when that happens….a successful, healthy, solid, relationship can be established |

None of this happens until we stop, slow down and really LOVE….because we can’t truly love them if we don’t love us and without LOVE there is FEAR & just like light and dark, the two can not exist in the same room/heart.

Let go, Love You and when you see a reflection of yourself enter your life through a significant other, allow it. They’re only coming home. 

*The Magic in Manifesting* A Step by Step guide to creating YOUR dream life! 

So you want to live your dream life, yeah? 

Want to become the CEO of your own company? Have it go from a small kitchen business to a multi-million dollar business? Maybe you even want to become a famous author or writer () and have your books published in other countries and flying off the shelf! Or maybe you simply want to relocate, find love, increase your financial wealth or have more confidence to speak better, love appropriately and transform and heal your life. 

You can have every single thing you want by simply writing it down, speaking it and watching it MANIFEST! 

NOW, here’s the catch. (There’s always a damn catch) 

YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THESE THINGS WILL HAPPEN. 

| Easy to read…hard to absorb |

But this is where the power lies in order to assist the manifestations in becoming your reality! 

Like attracts Like. That is the simply answer to life’s question. You get back what you put out. In other words… 

EVERYTHING is your fault. (ahh shit) 

Yup, you read that right. YOU did it. The thoughts you had, the words you spoke, the things you did, all created the world you live in right this second.

Hard to grasp? Good….keep reading…..

Your subconscious is a child that needs to be taught and “trained” to think ONLY positive thoughts. Some may find this task difficult but there goes that negative thinking! Haha!

In order grasp this concept you first have to know that you have the power to control your own thoughts. You have a way to manipulate them, you can transform them into anything you’d like. ANYTHING. You are RULER of your thoughts, MASTER MANIFESTOR, super fuckin’ Saiyan! 

Do you understand now?? Yes, YOU have the power to create abundance, freedom, and health in WHATEVER FORM YOU WANT IT! Shits crazy and completely POSSIBLE! 

I wouldn’t dare keep this “secret” to myself and not share the many benefits of manifesting and how you can have every single thing you want while you are present on this planet. 

The MAGICAL steps:

| Thoughts are vibrations that you lit out that are constantly sent out into the atmosphere attracting everything you want or don’t desire |

With that comes careful thinking. Your thoughts should constantly remain positive, no matter the situation or circumstance. REMAIN POSITIVE. It’s diffficult to do I’m aware and I’m even sure you’re calling BS, yeah? Well there’s one of your problems, you don’t believe. 

Remaining positive in a situation brings to it positive energy, positive thoughts emits a positive outcome, or at least the outcome better fit for the situation, even if the results aren’t seen until later. 

When a negative thought comes to you, you must recognize it, love it and SEND IT ON ITS WAY, it no longer exists. Let it go. Let it go immediately. This entire process of coming and going negative thoughts should only last a couple seconds. 

Afterwards, give thanks for your duality, you saw the “bad” but not enough to overwhelm you or keep it as a thought in the forefront of your mind. Again, recognize it, love it, leave it. 

Back to your regularly scheduled positive thinking! 

|WRITE IT DOWN | 

Write everything! Every single detail. Be as specific as possible. THIS is important. Be careful what you ask for, in writing them, you are creating them, therefore details are key in writing your manifestations. You can write dates, time frames, places where things will occur, how they will unfold, etc. 

When writing these things write as if they already exists in your reality. You can do this by beginning your sentences with I AM, I HAVE, I OWN….and so on. This is a time in life where you can be selfish and won’t get bashed! Yay! 

Write in a notebook, your phone, tablet, whether you have a place to create words, use it. 

At the end of all of my list I write “Give Thanks” or “I am thankful for everything I have created” 

This can be done anytime you feel the need to manifest but ESPECIALLY on the nights of the new and full moons. Any source of powerful energy coming from the universe is a good time to write. Just keep your thoughts positive while writing and BELIEVE AND KNOW these things are already yours. 

| SPEAK IT. (say it wit ya chest lil’ n***a) |

In your daily conversations, while your singing in the shower, during your moon rituals. Say out loud what the hell you want! I go back to using affirming statements such as I AM or I HAVE. 

“I am a best selling author!” 

“My art is being hung in the most expensive are gallery in the world!”

“That 2016 Range Rover is MY car!”

Don’t let the world and people tell YOU who you are and what you have. You tell THEM! This shit is yours! You own it! You dreamed it and now you get to live it! Speak ABUNDANCE, PROSPERITY, HEALTH, STABILITY and whatever else into your life….you can have absolutely ANYTHING. 

| Act with LOVE, always |

Oh don’t expect to be out here complaining, crying, being rude and disrespectful, mean and cruel and turn around and get the life you desire. Oh no baby, what is you doin’? 

It doesn’t work that way. Be kind ALWAYS; unless circumstances are extreme and difficult and you MUST act an ass to show these fools, put that tea and fruit down and drag em sis, BUT other than that remain calm, send love and move in love. 
THAT’S IT! That ladies and gentleman is how you transform your dreams to reality. How you create the life you want. This is a power you always held, but never knew exactly how to activate it. Well! Dun dun dun dun! There you have it fam!  
HOW TO BECOME SUPER SAIYAN MANIFESTER! Haha! Your magical ass! NOW GO CREATE! 
HAPPY MANIFESTING! 

Every encounter is magic! ~ 3 souls you meet on your journey ~ 

Nothing happens by chance or circumstance. Every situation, every conversation, every encounter….happens for a reason. Give it the reason be great or minuscule. Whether it have a significant impact or not. It is an important moment in your life that was an instant in cosmic “time”. An instant that mattered in some way or another. 

On our pathways of growth and realizing our true life’s purpose, we tend to focus more on the “insignificant” things that once meant nothing to majority of us as a human race.

Meaning each tree you by pass, you look deeply at its detail now. The way the bark forms, the bumps and grooves it dances as it makes a detailed design up its trunk. 

Each cloud in the sky, you take the time to recognize as its own beautiful shape or form. 

You begin to look people in their eyes, hug them instead of shake their hand, listen to their stories and realize that everyone has a story and a purpose. We are all similar, on the same path to spiritual elevation. Some more dedicated to their purpose than others; All trying to figure out how to live the life their soul came here to experience. 

In my opinion (and I’m sure others will gladly agree) there are 3 very special….very important people we meet on our journey through this lifetime. (There are quite more, but these rank highest among soul encounters)

First Encounter: The significantly insignificant.

I was on the greyhound traveling to Texas and it was the middle of the day, on a Wednesday, and we were at a stopping point in Mississippi. (Simply saying that word makes me want some collard greens yummmmmmy haha! ) 

Anywho! — As I got on the bus, I scanned the aisle looking for a vacant seat. There weren’t many options, as it was the middle of the day and tons of people had already taken their chosen seats. 

I came across an older Black woman, about 5″3′ in stature with a beautiful gardeners tan. She just LOOKED like a grandmother and I immediately felt at ease. Although I had not even been tense. We held a short general conversation, the typical first meeting dialogue. 

Before pulling off, a therapy dog and it’s owner had taken a seat behind us. When the older woman noticed the dog she looked at me, with her glasses down to her nose and said ” Baby, I can’t do dogs” and gathered her things in one arms motion and switched seats! She did NOT sign up for pups on the bus, ok?! 

As she walked away she turned and looked at me directly in the eye, or so I believed through her transition lenses, and whispered ” I’m going to miss you” low enough for me to have to do a double take to be sure she was speaking to me. 

I had only met this woman no less than 10 minutes ago, and she felt we had bonded enough in those brief moments, that because of our minimal separation, she would somehow miss me. At first, this weirded me out, until I took the time to THINK about the encounter I had just made. 

***This is what I got from it: 

There are people who enter our lives suddenly and leave just as quick as they came. Though this may cause disarray in someone’s life it is equally valuable. It’s a quick lesson. It’s one that the universe conspires for you to capture suddenly and with little ease, in order to be learned. Whether the encounter be seen in the moment or YEARS later. Whether it’s still an lingering lesson or one learned and set aside. It meant something. 

It was significant enough to impact you on a greater level for unforeseen circumstances but insignificant in the fact that it was a swift, sudden and small, yet impactful, lesson. 

Now, do we MISS the situation, issue, or circumstance the lesson held us in?….depends. 

Point is. It’s over. We’ll never see it again. It no longer exist and I have moved on. (Make this an affirmation actually

Second Encounter: The Soul Collector

On that exact same greyhound bus, about 2 stops later, I met another beautiful being. Let’s just say her name is Gina. 

Gina is a hippie white girl from Cleveland that walked by me during a restroom break and complimented me on my locs and crystal wraps around my neck. I said thank you and gave her a big smile. She gave off a beautiful vibe. 

Excited to show me her collection of stones she asked if she could have a seat next to me. I welcomed her to take the seat and she began blowing my mind instantly. 

This girl had a bag FILLED with tarot decks, Wands, divination tools, stones…etc. Like, how rare is it you meet someone randomly, on a bus going to two different locations, that has the exact same interests as you! I could go on longer about our common interests but that isn’t my complete point here. 

She was a talker. I’m ok with this because I like to listen (It’s important to take time to listen). She told me about her situation and how she wanted to do exactly what I was doing, drop everything & travel. Though she expressed her fear for minimizing everything and leaving home alone. I spoke with her about my journey and we had just enough time to watch a documentary on my phone, Minimalism. I had the urge to encourage her, so I did. We went the rest of the journey talking, exchanging energies and learning small details about each other. I taught her something and in return, she did the same for me.

***And from this I learned: 

We have people and situations that become apart of our lives that we grow strong connections and bonds with. Some healthy….some not so healthy.

Either way they come, they show you that you aren’t alone, that instant soul connections can happen and that each can teach the other something that will lead them another step towards spiritual elevation. Whether this connection be with another being or with your inner/higher self.

If you were looking from the future into the past, you will see that these people and/or situations or your own will power altered your thought process enough to lead you in the direction of your hearts desires. For a moment they collected depths of your soul and your being and then they gently let you go. 

This encounter can be short term or long term, but it IS one that will happen! 

Third Encounter: The Wild Heart

When I arrived in Austin we stopped at 7/11 to grab some snacks and drinks. Immediately when we walked in we were greeted by the cashier that was a short hippie Dominican guy in his 40’s or 50’s. He had colorful beads around his neck, he twisted his hips when he walked and he had a good amount of spice in his personality that snatched your attention upon entering the room. It was late but he was on fire! (It was 5 o’clock somewhere haha!) 

Dancing to the music, complimenting everyone, showing off his jewlrey…JUST HAPPY.  

After a 19 hour bus ride he made me smile so big with his greeting and saucy personality! 

I will never forget him. Ever. 

***And this is what he taught me:

There will be people or better yet, yourself, that will introduce themselves in your life and LIGHT. IT. UP! 

You meet them and they are full of sunshine! They are your soul extensions. Pieces of you in people you are in close connection with or that girl or guy you met in the restroom at that bar and lounge you go to every other Thursday night. 

Whoever or whatever the situation. It lifted your spirit and elevated your happiness completely! If even briefly, it did its due diligence. Be thankful for these moments. 

When looking at it, encounters are more important than we perceive them to be. Every single encounter is one that was written in our karmic cycle. An encounter that taught us a lesson we may need to know in 17 or so years. 

Or one we may need to know in a few months. 

No matter the happenstance. It showed itself, it served its purpose and NOW….

WE GROW. 

“Dear Shadow Self, I see you” (A Guide to Spiritual Spring Cleaning)

It’s that time of the year where in any “normal” household old items will be thrown away, clothes that no longer fit will be taken to goodwill or to the Salvation Army and floors will be swept and mopped until the house is sparkling clean! 

You remember, hearing music playing early Saturday morning and (not wanting to) but waking up and having that natural urge to clean. How amazing was/is that new and fresh feeling of walking through your home, windows up, sun shining through each opening, and the wind blowing slightly enough to give it that cool beach breeze. Everyone is happy and smiling and you feel accomplished, clean and ready to begin a new season!

Haha! Satisfying! Glorious! “Cue butterflies and rainbows!!” 

That’s cute and all, and very much needed in every home if you so choose! But spring cleaning reaches a lot deeper than cleaning your home or your work space. 

As humans we don’t take the necessary allotted time to love on ourselves, to clean our inner dirt and filth…our dark, deep self. 

No, you aren’t as clean and pure as you believe you are, although you can get to this point, of inner purity as YOU believe it to be. Everyone has shadows and dark sides that most are not willing to admit to. If you so chose to block that portion of your soul, you are also choosing to block your spiritual growth and abundance of blessings that’ll come to you had you just took the time to LOOK AT YOU. 

Working on your shadow self is going to be the highlight of your journey….dont believe me just watch :p.

A few things you can do to work deeply with yourself, face fears and spiritual darkness are listed below: 

(These may not work for everyone but they worked for me and I’m 87% sure they will work for you!)

• GO OUTSIDE!!

We simply do not spend enough time outside. We need to look up more, feel the grass more, touch and hug more trees! By doing so you are energizing your mind, your skin warms up and you begin to smile more, you instantly get a boost of natures Vitamin D! Look up and gaze at the sun, the stars, the moon…plant your feet in the dirt and let the ground snuggle your toes. Being connected to such a vessel such as earth has its own natural healing effects. 

GO OUT AND PLAY! 

Song- Brand New: Pharrell Williams and Justin Timberlake

• Write affirmations DAILY (morning, noon & night)

This is as simply as it gets. Go buy a notebook that will motivate you to write in it, get you a good, goooooood writing pen and start writing “I AM” statements. By writing and affirming with statements such as “I AM”, “I HAVE” or “I WILL” you are telling the universe that you have control over every word and dream and visualization that makes your life YOURS. Therefore, creating this reality that you want for yourself. You are the Master, you are the God of your life’s destiny. 

• Listen to high frequency music (binaural beats, 432 Hz or 528 Hz)

Oh the power of music is a power that is somewhat overlooked. Sounds in general shape the universe, literally. Sounds create frequencies that enter our bodies and have the ability to change our thinking, the way our bodies move, and the way our vibrations are put off into our auto and atmosphere. As you sleep or throughout your work day or whatever you may be doing in your day to day life, pull out your headphones and google one of the frequencies listed above; you can even get down to specifics and find beats that will assist with letting go, love, wealth and abundance, etc. 

—or you could listen to some clean bandit or salsa music and groove your worries away! Haha!! 
Again, these things work for me but may not work for everyone reading, but it doesn’t hurt to test the waters. Also, always remember to love you, take care of you and put you first. You are in this fleshy spaceship only for a short time, so take the time to love every cell in your body. Every folicle of hair that makes you, you. 

If you have to write ” I LOVE ME!” Everywhere in your home, car or work place, DO IT! 

Take this time to love and recognize your shadow self. See it and send it on its way. Love it and leave it. 

5 steps to self-healing and growth

I have been on a spiritual journey for about a year now. A year of getting to know the good about myself and the ugly…and when I say ugly…I mean butt ass, green face, hideous presence…Esmeralda ugly! 

I didn’t even want to be around myself most times. 

Then there were times where I saw bits of me I have never seen before. Beautiful parts, parts that I saw and thought “damn girl, new phone who dis?!” 

“My growth also came with a purge that was as real and raw as anything you could imagine…. stripped down to the bone.”

I knew that if I didn’t change my thought process or how I handled certain situations that in the end I would have to come back in my next lifetime and redo ALL my bullshit….FUCK THAT. I wasn’t having it and I was more than ready to take on all of my lessons full throttle, no holding back. 

What the HELL was I thinking asking for that challenge?! Because the universe listened and I got JUST that. 

So I had to heal…and I had to figure out ways to do that while still keeping my sanity and still maintains my growth(which is incredibly important to me). I came up with 5 very simple steps that can and will lead to your self-healing as it did for mine. 
 

Journey to self-healing 1: Let Go (let me repeat that for my folk in the back) LET GO. 

How do you tell someone who has always had attachments that it’s time to seriously let go? You don’t. This is a lesson that has to be learned by the individual. Only they have the power to control their emotions and attachments. Letting go of something or someone can and will be difficult. We find security and safety in these things and allow them to consume every second of our day to the point where we feel returning to ourselves is impossible. 

Lies we tell ourselves.

Letting go is the most freeing feeling and comes along with minimizing things in life. When we talk minimalism we are not only discussing the items in our closest or in our homes but things that no longer serve us in our lives. 

It is 2017 and we should have let go of everything that doesn’t serve us years ago! But we didn’t and as a result the universe has forced us as a whole to remove ourselves from those low vibrational situations. This is why relationships go haywire, why friendships are lost and why family members no longer call.

LET THAT SHIT GO & BREATHE BABY.

Mantra: ‘Om Shanti Namaha’ or ‘Soham’ for peace and letting go. 

Journey to self-healing 2: Detachment (you own NOTHING) 
 

I had to learn this the hard way. It’s difficult becoming so close to people or someone in particular and then at some point have to let them go and let them be them. It sounds selfish but we all do it. Hold on so tightly to someone that once it’s time to even take some sort of distance there is fear of leaving for ever that comes rushing in. Who embedded this separation anxiety within us and why is it so difficult to part from?! 

Thing is, it’s not. Detachment is healthy and without it we would be stuck on things and people that no longer serve us. 

For fear of being alone. 

Because that’s simply all it boils down to. Being alone. We become afraid to face our inner demons and our darkest shadows because those are places we have never visited. Within your growth detachment will free you of so much baggage and layers that you won’t even recognize your reflection. It is a scary layer but a layer that has been worn for years….& it’s time to let it go boo. 

Mantra: Hari Om ~~ Purifies and removes obstacles. Opens the heart. Awakens prana (natural energy) in the body.

Journey to self-healing 3: Forgive……*breathe* 

This is a tough one, but one worth doing. So often people do things to us and we immediately begin to hold grudges, roll eyes, miss events, avoid all forms of communication and so on just to ignore the fact that we are to childish and prideful to simply forgive someone. 

“Well you don’t know what they did to me and you don’t know how bad that affected me!”

Well my love, I simply don’t believe that you played no role in any situation that had cause you grief and sadness. You always play a role, you are always in control and you can always….always…control or leave the situation. Forgiveness isn’t merely for the other person and I’m sure if you are a growing learning adult you are well aware that forgiveness is for yourself. It’s for your future, it’s for your children and your everyone you come in contact with. Forgiveness opens door ways to opportunities and it shows the universe that you aren’t so shallow after all. 

So suck it up, stop playing victim, own up to your shit and Forgive. 

K? 

Mantra: Om Tara Tu Tara Tu Ray Swaha ~ for rescue & benevolent help – for compassion, strength & healing

Journey to self-healing 4: Change your perspective (stop looking at shit the same damn way bro)

Here ye here ye, welcoming, after a long long road of failed lessons, a GROWN…ASS…. ADULT!!

It’s true. You’ve been looking at situations the same for as long as you know. Same damn situation….just different folks. It’s amazing how much growth and learning you can receive by just changing the way you think and look at things. It shows people a different you. 

It proves that you are an open minded individual that does not place yourself in a box and refuses to have limits! 

REMEMBER: LIMITS DO NOT EXIST. 

They never have and never will. You can literally have any and everything you want if you would simply stop bringing yourself to a low level of thinking and rise ABOVE that frequency! 

Mantra: Om Shri Ramaya Namaha ~ Ram is a name for God. It engenders God consciousness, truth, blessings

Journey to self-healing 5: Solitude (go have some happy time to ya self, you damn sure deserve it) 

Its been a long and rough and gratifying journey, yes?

It may be difficult for you to escape but you deserve solitude. You deserve to spend quality alone time with YOU and only YOU. 

Having company and companionship is great! It’s always beautiful to sit amongst like minded individuals and exchange beautiful energy. 

But it is also, equally, important to give yourself that exact same amount of time. People will be there when you return, everything will be there when you return. 

If you are worried your friends or family won’t be there then you have another issue on your hands to deal with. If they respect you and love you they can and will respect your need for solitude. 

Mantra~~Focus on you, be you and love you, all ways, always.